Have you ever noticed how we all have a different number of friends? In fact, due to the way the world works, most people we’re friends with have more friends than us! I’ve always been a person who viewed friendship a bit differently, but I never knew why until I started reading more about it. It turns out that I have a more independent friendship style.
What about you? Do you tend to have a lot of friendships you nurture? Or are you more selective? Or more independent? Take my latest quiz to find out: How Do You Make Friends? Let me know what you get on this one and how true it is for you.
Are you a good friend? I bet you are. Everyone who comments on this blog is so kind, self-aware, and interesting that I’m sure you’re all awesome friends in real life 🙂 Good friendship is something I’m appreciating as I get older, and I’ve spent a lot of time thinking about what makes a good friend. I think we’ve all had to decide what friendships to nurture and what friendships to let go over the years, and it helps to be clear on what qualities we’re looking for in our very best friends.
When I was younger, I was looking for friends who were a lot of fun. I loved people who lived dramatic and crazy lives, even if that brought a lot of drama into the friendships. And while the drama queens of the world are still entertaining in small doses, I find that I’m looking for a little more stability these days. I appreciate the company of compassionate, accepting, and open people. But I don’t want someone who doesn’t have any edge! Some of my best friends are snarky and hilarious, but they also know when to lend an ear and just listen.
Thinking about the good friends I have and the people I’d like to get closer to led me to write: What Makes You a Good Friend? I know that everyone can’t be an ideal friend to everyone else, but I think we’re all capable of being good friends of one sort or another. Maybe you’re not in the right frame of mind to be universally supportive of a friend, but maybe you can give her the honesty she needs right now. And maybe you’re not the most fun friend when you have a lot going on in your life, but at least you’re loyal.
Anyway, please take What Makes You a Good Friend? and let me know what you get. Do you agree with your result? What kind of friend are you looking for these days?
Are you a big hugger? I would like to be! I think hugs are nice, even if I’m a bit shy about giving them. I also have been reading a lot about the psychological powers of touch. Touch connects us to each other in powerful ways. People who have lots of touch in their lives are happier, and this includes hugs. Hugs promote the release of oxytocin, which helps us feel safer and more connected. There’s a reason why it’s our first instinct to give a friend in trouble a hug.
Over the course of my short life, I’ve seen the attitude toward hugs change in my culture… and for the better. For example, when I was growing up, I never saw men hug. Now it’s a more common occurrence. It’s also a lot more socially acceptable for men and women to hug each other in a plantonic way, and hugging as a greeting is practically mandatory with my girlfriends. It’s something I’m still getting used to, but I like it.
While I personally am not the world’s biggest hugger, I’m very pro-hugging in my life philosophy. I think anything that increases compassion in our world is a good thing. My own shyness with touch is probably why it took me so long to write a hugging themed quiz. I’m glad I finally did. Blogthings has a lot of quizzes about kissing, but until today, none about hugging. This newest quiz is my first step in remedying that! What Kind of Hug Are You? I had a lot of fun writing this one, and while I may not be standing around with a “Free Hugs” sign any time soon, it reminded me to hug more.
What did you think of What Kind of Hug Are You? Do you like your result? Are you a big hugger… or are you like me and a little hesitant about hugging? Comment and let me know!