Have you ever had a friend whose partner totally rubbed you the wrong way? Your friend was perfectly happy with their sweetie, but you could never imagine being with that person in a million years. I think we’ve all been there, and it just goes to show how we all have different relationship needs. And it’s a good thing too – or else we’d all be falling in love with the same people.
I had been thinking for a while that we all have different relationship needs. And despite what the old adage says, I don’t really think opposites attract. I have believed for a long time now that like attracts like, and there is mounting social psychology evidence backing me up on this. I couldn’t imagine being with someone who was that different than me, as far as personality characteristics go. Yes, a little variety can add spice, but when you’re talking about things like conscientiousness, optimism, openness to experience… I think we’re best off with those like us. Do you agree?
I felt like my own theories about attraction were recently confirmed when I stumbled upon The Helen Fisher test (featured in the book Why Him? Why Her?: Finding Real Love By Understanding Your Personality Type) which tells you why you fall for the people you fall for. It’s scientifically based and quite interesting. Of course, I like to put my own spin on these things, so I wrote my own test that was heavily influenced by the research Dr. Fisher did – with my own research and intuition added: Who Are You Looking For?
Please take Who Are You Looking For?, and let me know what you got on the quiz. Do you feel like your result is accurate? Have you already found a partner that fits the bill? I’m also curious… do you think opposites attract or that like attracts like?